Spring is in the air!

Oh what a wonderful day it was! Finally after weeks of grey, rainy weather the sun came out! 

My day was filled with horses, friends and lovely, special heartwarming people who came to ride with us. The sun accompanied us on our walks and made everything so much more fun. I just love to do this so much. Every time a client tells me that they feel so safe and understood and I help them grow, it makes my heart jump.. It makes all the effort worthwhile. It helps sooth a wounded heart. And working with animals is so nice because they don't judge. They just tell me when there is something going on in the rider and I hold them a mirror. Together we talk about this and they always end the ride with a calmer soul and a smile on the face. Sometimes this takes a few sessions/rides, but in the end the result shows:)

It works for me too. That is how I can help them because I now how it feels. After a long day I'm dead tired, but it is to rewarding. Seeing a child's confidence grow because the horse does as she asks and hear them say that the horse they are riding is their favorite is just fantastic. We really do provide a "friend with four healthy legs".

I wish every person would try this once in their lives. If you are open to it, it can be so relaxing and teaching, because you always learn something.

I know that I would not be the same person today if I hadn't found this farm with this man and his beautiful horses a year ago.

Doing this helps me get through life when life sucks at times. Even now, where my heart is broken and my soul is hurt, I feel ok. I feel that there is a reason I exist. I haven't found the exact way to work with it from now on, but I'm getting there. It feels like a puzzle and all the pieces are there, some joined into part of the picture, some still upside down and waiting to be stuck into place.

I can't wait to go for long evening rides again and enjoy time with my favorite horse and all the other animals. I feel like I really need it to heal. That and my dear friends. Seeing spring turn up sure helps as well:) eating outside again! I love how the plants, trees and flowers come back to life (although the goat ate our tulips that we planted before winter came;p). I love how my cheeks are rosy from the sun. I love being really fysically tired.

I wish all of you a lovely spring. Please enjoy the butterflies, the birds singing, the trees turning greener day after day. Please treasure what we have. Let's not realize what we had when it is too late.

Lots of love

S.Y.K.

Book of love

This is not the original post with this title that I've wrote today. I wrote another one, because I needed to ventilate and I did not want to bother anyone with it. But I did not want to post it. It contains too much hurt. Nobody is waiting for a long story about someone else's heartache. Besides, it would be completely besides the point if the whole reason of writing a post is not to bother anyone, if you end up bothering everyone.

But I still wanted to post something. In this case I have really tried to keep it on the upside.

I was feeling so sad when I came home today. I feel like there is a giant hole in my life. I miss being able to love someone. Someone I have loved so dearly for quite some time. I still do, but I have nowhere to go with those emotions, so I tried to get rid of them. What usually helps is to cry my eyes out with a good movie. The other day it worked like a charm with "Hachi" one of the best movies made about the bond between a dog and his owner, ever. (we can argue about this statement later:). If you love dogs and are in need of crying your eyes out, it is a very good option. The other thing that really helps me is to listen to music. Not just any music though. No no, it has to be GOOD. Oldskool. If your name is me then for this occasion that would most likely be anything written by the hands of Mr. Ennio Morricone. What a genius. That music is not for every day, but for occasions like these, perfect. It grabs you by the throat and holds on until the tears just won't stop streaming. "Romanzo" (from: Novecento-1900) Pff. Brings back so many beautiful memories. Or the soundtrack of "The Mission". From the soul.

The beauty of it all is that feeling so sad about a love lost is that it was of the kind that was worth feeling so sad about. Which is something to be grateful of. The downside is that it makes you feel like shit for an undefined amount of time, which sucks. Yet, it was all ended in peace, which makes it one of the best reasons to feel sad, if you would have to choose.

What I hope is that I've learnt the lessons I've obviously had to learn from all this. It would be too unfair to get this far and have to let go in the end, if it were all for nothing.

I am thankful for all I've been given and for every second spent in your company.
To love is also to let go when needed.

The book of love has many pages and was written very long ago. It is not just black and white, but filled with bright colors.

S.Y.K.