An Enchanting Moment

't was monday and I had just made an appointment with an optician to have my eyes checked. I had to be there at three pm so I left my studymates and walked to the city center to the opticians'. After a short wait and the check-up I started trying out some glasses. I was told the sales woman would be with me any moment. After about a half a hour I was torn between three pairs of glasses and really couldn't decide which of them would come home with me. At some point this guy walked in and started looking around himself. Somehow I was fully aware of his presence but since I had already been standing there constantly switching three pairs of glasses on my head and the sales woman not yet being helpful, I had other things on my mind. At last she walked up to me apologizing for taking so long. She gave me her opinion but I still hesitated to pick one, because it does really determine ones' look, and I didn't feel like rushing it. Somehow te guy was looking at me every now and then, trying on glasses for himself. At one point he interferred in my conversation with the saleswoman giving his opinion on what I had just said. He stated the sometimes it was better to just go and eat an icecream and come back later to decide. I nodded smiling and mumbling something agreeingly, but went on fitting the glasses. At some point we couln't reach a verdict and so I turned to the guy, since he was watching me again, to ask him for his opinion on which glasses I should take. He gave an honest and rather serious reaction, but asked me why I didn't ask the sales lady to keep them all for a week so I could come back with a friend or something. Well what a good idea! I laughed and did as he said. Then, I was just about to leave the shop, I realized that this man could maybe use my help on deciding as well, since he had also been there for a while. I turned and asked him whether he beede my help, since he had been so kind in helping me. He then smiled again and said that he needed to go eat an icecream first and would then come back later to decide. I said "ok, no problem" and turned to the door. He then said "why don't you come with me, we'll have an icecream together!" I thought he was rather cute, and had a very appealing charisma, so I said "yes, why not" without thinking.

Once we had the icecream, we ofcourse had to either sit down at the icecream cafe, or walk back to the store or wherever, so we both decided on walking together. We had a great connection so he suddenly said: " do you know where we are going? Because I know.." I replied that I had no idea, since we were randomly walking in the direction of the station. He told me that we were going to the university site, because there was an exhibition of the World Press Photo contest winners. I thought by myself, well whatta ya know, this guy knows how to play this game!! I decided that t would be fun to go there, and at the same time get to know this guy a little better.

Once at the exhibition we found out that we had quite a lot in common, but had enough differences to be able to talk about many things. I enjoyed it and I am guessing that he was as well. After seeing all, we started walking back to the station and he told me where to go. We had the choice to either walk on a narrow sidewalk or on a much broader bicycle way. I said " I'll walk on the bicycle way." He then said: " so you're going to walk there and hinder all the cyclers and endanger yourself" with a grinn, saying that I was a bit different and all.. I then replied that I liked doing things different, that I wasn't going to walk on a very narrow sidewalk if I could walk on the broad cycle alley etc etc. Those of you who know me, probably recognise how I did, because they know I like to be stubborn and obstinate. All of a sudden he put his arm around me and kissed me full on the mouth. It wasn't just a little kissy, no! It was an unmistakable adult kiss!! Right there, on the cycle alley!! You can imagine that I was completely knocked off my feet and didn't quiet know where to look:) when he let go of me, I looked at his smiley face and he said: "Is this unconventional enough for ya?!"

It's a good thing I am a great bluffer, because honestly that had never happened to me before, and since I really kinda liked him and thought he was rather cute, I didn't know what to say. I blushed like mad and my friends know that I am seldom lost for words.

I bluffed my way around it and we walked on to the station. Once there, He asked me what we'd do next. So I told him that I didn't know what he was going to do, but since I have a dog, I had to go home and walk him. He said "well, then I'll come with ya and we'll wall him together". I thought ok, fine if that's what you want. I didn't care, he was interesting ánd he had just kissed me so yeah, ofcourse I'd like him to come with me.

The story goes on. We walked back into the city center and he asked if it was okay that we quickly stop at another optician to look at a pair of glasses that he had seen and that he wasn't completely sure of. I agreed and we went there. His bike stood in front of that shop anyway so it wasn't a detour at all. The moment we left the shop he kissed me again!! I jumped and asked him if this was normal to him, randomly kissing girls whenever he felt like it. He just smiled and said no, but he did do what he wanted every now and then though.

Well, I'll try and keep the story from gettin longer and longer. Eventually we've walked my dog together, we've ended up doing groceries together and sharing dinner together and finally he left the house at 12.30pm.

The good thing is, we've had a really nice time, talking and talking and time flew. We'll probably see each other again some time next week. He gave me his number for me to decide whether I wanted to keep in touch or not, which I found quite pleasant. After all, he kinda caught me off guard and I am not looking for a relationship anyways.

I can tell you that we have been on the phone yesterday and had a nice chat. So, to everyone who doesn't or didn't believe that things like these happen, they do! You just have to sometimes be open to other people. But ofcourse you should be careful as well, my guy turned out to be a genuinely honest and nice guy, but he's not perfect either and I told my neighbour that he was with me just to be sure.

Other than that, what better way is there to enjoy life to the fullest??!;)

Bis später!

S.Y.K.

With ups and downs

I know that some of you who will maybe read my blog will probably disagree or at least think differently on what I'm going to talk about today.. That's ok, I'm just sharing my thoughts!

There are days that I can look into à mirror and be happy with what I see. And I'm not talking about the looks, that is a different discussion. I'm talking about me. The human being I am. My personality and everything that came with that deal.

One day, my mother and father had sex. (sorry, unfortunately that's where this story begins;)) At that particular moment in time, my father's genes combined with my mother's genes which ultimately resulted in having à baby, alias ME.

Now, I can go in many different directions with this subject, because there is so much I could say about it. But today I am thinking about this: why do I have such a hard time being me.

I have three brothers, of which one is of the same flesh and blood. I find it incredible how he and I are so completely different, and yet made of the same stuff. Same parents, same genes and still so unbelievably different. Not only lookswise, but mostly personalitywise. When I was younger I used to think that he got it all.. That he pulled the long straw.. But now that I'm older and obviously wiser, I realize dat he has also got some flaws and things to work he definitely has some things to work out as well. The funny thing is, people always tell me that he always talks about me, and I know that there are several things he really admires in me.. And even though I don't see him much, I love him to bits and am really proud of him:)

My problem is that I feel so hopeless sometimes. I feel like an alien. I feel like everything is so useless. Our society is so not humane, so not healthy.. And on the other side so much like nature but in an unfair way. I'm not extremely good at anything. In fact, there is nothing I'm really Good at. I'm just a little bit Good at many things.

I'm so frustrated with myself right now. I can't get anything done, I don't feel like doing anything, I forget important things and choose to not do things deliberately, even though I should havo done them long ago, and I am bound to do myself wrong by not doing them.

"People are not lazy, they just have insufficiënt goals" some famous person once wrote. How right he is in my case. Problem is, this society doesn't always let you make your own goals.. There hardly isn't any room for mistakes.. Make one wrong decision and screw yourself for the next couple of years. Our fantastic government doesn't really help either.. And to think that I live in a relatively relaxed country, where there are at least choices to make. Omg, why do I hold myself back so much, and why do I have so much difficulties with getting things done and out of my way..

I could have had such a different life right now.. Question is, Would I have been happier? Will I ever find inner peace? Will I ever have a job that contributes to a better world (if such a thing exists) instead of breaking it down? Will I ever do something which makes me want to get up in the morning, and let me be content at the end of the day?

Why do people always sigh and roll their eyes whenever I say that I want to do something good, and not contribute to all the bad in the world. Is that so weird? Do all the other people ignore the fact that they are mere followers in a herd? Going in a direction where few people get sickening rich and most earn just enough to pay te bills.. I know that I am in this system as well, and I know that I unwillingly contribute to it every single say. But is it so weird that I wish I didn't have to? That people did not get killed manufacturing the IPhone I am using this very moment to actually write this blog? That the people who made the clothes I wear by working much too hard, actually earned some decent money instead of near to nothing, making few people very rich? I am defenitely not better than any of them followers. Because I am in that herd as well. Maybe as much at the edges as I can, but nonetheless in that goddamn herd. The reason is, I don't think that I can change the world by myself. Heck, I don't think the world can be changed at all. Because we don't really want it to change. Because we're used to it this way. And let's face it, we are in à luxury position as well. We don't really need it to change. I wouldn't even know how to change it. Because there will always be selfishness, and arrogance. There will always be the urge to be bigger and better than the other. There will always be hatred. And disease.. I know that. Many of the people I know, don't like it when I talk about this. They don't want me to think about this. They maybe don't even agree with me on this. And I get that. Because it can be scary and cofronting. And it can make a person way too depressed. But I am just being realistic.. And I like to sometimes express that I think about these things. Because if I let them thoughts out, it clears up in my head. It makes room for more positive thinking. I want to stay humble, and appreciate life and all living things. I want to experience love and give love, because it is one of the things that keep me going. I want to see the beauty in things. I want to appreciate friendship and cherish it. I want to be able to give without expecting or wanting anything back. To be able to do all this, I think you need to be able to know the other side as well. Maybe that doesn't go for everyone, because there are genuinely Nice and good people on this planet, but most of us have à shadowside, with not so good characteristics.

Sometimes it is hard to do what you have to do, even if you know that it will help you in the future. Specially if what you have to do feels so useless most of the time. Well, due to the choices I and some other people in my life made in the past, I have to push myself to follow the herd for another while, until I can hopefully set myself sufficiënt goals. And make at least a tiny part of this world a better place..

:)

The ironic thing is.. If we would all use our herd-following instinct in a positive way, doing positive things, to change the world for the better, it could theoretically be possible..

Because I don't want to make my few "followers" feel bad and ruin their days, I want to end this post with something positive:)

Let's all do something nice for someone else tomorrow, let's let go of our anger and sorrow. Let's smile at each other and brighten up someone elses day by being helpful or just kind. Let's enjoy the good things even more ab be grateful for them, and let's help each other get through the bad..

Lot of love for all,

S.Y.K

ps I'm going to get myself together tomorrow, and make sure I get some important stuff done. Because talking about it is real Nice and everything, but I have to start doing something for real!;)

Brainstorm

Have you ever felt insufficiënt?

I feel insufficiënt all the time since I'm enrolled in a new study program where I'm supposed to found a company and come up with product ideas. I used to have so many, may I say, Good ideas, but now that I need them, they're nowhere to be found!!

I'm actually in class right now hurting my brain hoping that it will produce something good and usefull.. Unfortunately, that doesn't work. The best way to come up with ideas is to do something cool or relaxing with your mates.

So.. We went to Hizmet, to eat some Dürum and Döner;) didn't bring us that one fantastic idea, but a filled stomach is not bad either for the moment.

I'm sorry for being absent for a few days but now you know why!

I've started painting again by the way.. And I love it!! It's so nice to be able to just let everything go and let your hands do the work for you.

Anyway, I'm going back to my inventing..

See you again soon!!

S.Y.K.