Truly, Madly, Deeply

I have been looking forward to this moment since I've been here in April.. I'm back in Dublin!!!:D I am absolutely in love with this beautiful city, in this wonderful country with its lovely and kind people!! They say it always rains in Ireland, but every time I'm here the sun shines like mad and warms my heart!

My beloved friend and Neighbour and I arrived here on Thursday. We installed ourselves in the B&B and got ready for for my old friends at Temple Bar. Unfortunately, our room at the B&B is not exactly what we had expected. Well actually it's not at all what we had expected, haha! The heater doesn't work, so we have been sleeping dressed up like Michelin puppets, and the continental breakfast wasn't that continental either. But you know, we're okay, because we're in Dublin, and we're having so much fun!!

Yesterday we bought some air freshener and some comfort foods, so we got through the night ok, but since only one of us can shower with warm water, getting up is not that much fun. As I'm typing this, I am lying in bed with my pajamas and socks on and a scarf around my neck!

But, the sun is shining and we're going to have another grand day in the city, looking forward to seeing my friends play again. Tomorrow we will be going to Wicklow Mountains, which is said to be one of the most beautiful areas of Ireland. We will be seeing the largest caves in Europe and one of the oldest castles in Ireland. Can't wait!!

I keep saying it: good friends are priceless! I could have never imagined that I would be going on holiday with a woman, and enjoy it to the fullest, without one rotten word or a mean streak. Thanks Matey, for being such a good friend, day after day:)!!

For all my readers, I have to get ready, because Dublin is calling and I'm still lagging behind in the warmth of my hotel bed;)

See ya! :D

S.Y.K.

An Enchanting Moment

't was monday and I had just made an appointment with an optician to have my eyes checked. I had to be there at three pm so I left my studymates and walked to the city center to the opticians'. After a short wait and the check-up I started trying out some glasses. I was told the sales woman would be with me any moment. After about a half a hour I was torn between three pairs of glasses and really couldn't decide which of them would come home with me. At some point this guy walked in and started looking around himself. Somehow I was fully aware of his presence but since I had already been standing there constantly switching three pairs of glasses on my head and the sales woman not yet being helpful, I had other things on my mind. At last she walked up to me apologizing for taking so long. She gave me her opinion but I still hesitated to pick one, because it does really determine ones' look, and I didn't feel like rushing it. Somehow te guy was looking at me every now and then, trying on glasses for himself. At one point he interferred in my conversation with the saleswoman giving his opinion on what I had just said. He stated the sometimes it was better to just go and eat an icecream and come back later to decide. I nodded smiling and mumbling something agreeingly, but went on fitting the glasses. At some point we couln't reach a verdict and so I turned to the guy, since he was watching me again, to ask him for his opinion on which glasses I should take. He gave an honest and rather serious reaction, but asked me why I didn't ask the sales lady to keep them all for a week so I could come back with a friend or something. Well what a good idea! I laughed and did as he said. Then, I was just about to leave the shop, I realized that this man could maybe use my help on deciding as well, since he had also been there for a while. I turned and asked him whether he beede my help, since he had been so kind in helping me. He then smiled again and said that he needed to go eat an icecream first and would then come back later to decide. I said "ok, no problem" and turned to the door. He then said "why don't you come with me, we'll have an icecream together!" I thought he was rather cute, and had a very appealing charisma, so I said "yes, why not" without thinking.

Once we had the icecream, we ofcourse had to either sit down at the icecream cafe, or walk back to the store or wherever, so we both decided on walking together. We had a great connection so he suddenly said: " do you know where we are going? Because I know.." I replied that I had no idea, since we were randomly walking in the direction of the station. He told me that we were going to the university site, because there was an exhibition of the World Press Photo contest winners. I thought by myself, well whatta ya know, this guy knows how to play this game!! I decided that t would be fun to go there, and at the same time get to know this guy a little better.

Once at the exhibition we found out that we had quite a lot in common, but had enough differences to be able to talk about many things. I enjoyed it and I am guessing that he was as well. After seeing all, we started walking back to the station and he told me where to go. We had the choice to either walk on a narrow sidewalk or on a much broader bicycle way. I said " I'll walk on the bicycle way." He then said: " so you're going to walk there and hinder all the cyclers and endanger yourself" with a grinn, saying that I was a bit different and all.. I then replied that I liked doing things different, that I wasn't going to walk on a very narrow sidewalk if I could walk on the broad cycle alley etc etc. Those of you who know me, probably recognise how I did, because they know I like to be stubborn and obstinate. All of a sudden he put his arm around me and kissed me full on the mouth. It wasn't just a little kissy, no! It was an unmistakable adult kiss!! Right there, on the cycle alley!! You can imagine that I was completely knocked off my feet and didn't quiet know where to look:) when he let go of me, I looked at his smiley face and he said: "Is this unconventional enough for ya?!"

It's a good thing I am a great bluffer, because honestly that had never happened to me before, and since I really kinda liked him and thought he was rather cute, I didn't know what to say. I blushed like mad and my friends know that I am seldom lost for words.

I bluffed my way around it and we walked on to the station. Once there, He asked me what we'd do next. So I told him that I didn't know what he was going to do, but since I have a dog, I had to go home and walk him. He said "well, then I'll come with ya and we'll wall him together". I thought ok, fine if that's what you want. I didn't care, he was interesting ánd he had just kissed me so yeah, ofcourse I'd like him to come with me.

The story goes on. We walked back into the city center and he asked if it was okay that we quickly stop at another optician to look at a pair of glasses that he had seen and that he wasn't completely sure of. I agreed and we went there. His bike stood in front of that shop anyway so it wasn't a detour at all. The moment we left the shop he kissed me again!! I jumped and asked him if this was normal to him, randomly kissing girls whenever he felt like it. He just smiled and said no, but he did do what he wanted every now and then though.

Well, I'll try and keep the story from gettin longer and longer. Eventually we've walked my dog together, we've ended up doing groceries together and sharing dinner together and finally he left the house at 12.30pm.

The good thing is, we've had a really nice time, talking and talking and time flew. We'll probably see each other again some time next week. He gave me his number for me to decide whether I wanted to keep in touch or not, which I found quite pleasant. After all, he kinda caught me off guard and I am not looking for a relationship anyways.

I can tell you that we have been on the phone yesterday and had a nice chat. So, to everyone who doesn't or didn't believe that things like these happen, they do! You just have to sometimes be open to other people. But ofcourse you should be careful as well, my guy turned out to be a genuinely honest and nice guy, but he's not perfect either and I told my neighbour that he was with me just to be sure.

Other than that, what better way is there to enjoy life to the fullest??!;)

Bis später!

S.Y.K.

With ups and downs

I know that some of you who will maybe read my blog will probably disagree or at least think differently on what I'm going to talk about today.. That's ok, I'm just sharing my thoughts!

There are days that I can look into à mirror and be happy with what I see. And I'm not talking about the looks, that is a different discussion. I'm talking about me. The human being I am. My personality and everything that came with that deal.

One day, my mother and father had sex. (sorry, unfortunately that's where this story begins;)) At that particular moment in time, my father's genes combined with my mother's genes which ultimately resulted in having à baby, alias ME.

Now, I can go in many different directions with this subject, because there is so much I could say about it. But today I am thinking about this: why do I have such a hard time being me.

I have three brothers, of which one is of the same flesh and blood. I find it incredible how he and I are so completely different, and yet made of the same stuff. Same parents, same genes and still so unbelievably different. Not only lookswise, but mostly personalitywise. When I was younger I used to think that he got it all.. That he pulled the long straw.. But now that I'm older and obviously wiser, I realize dat he has also got some flaws and things to work he definitely has some things to work out as well. The funny thing is, people always tell me that he always talks about me, and I know that there are several things he really admires in me.. And even though I don't see him much, I love him to bits and am really proud of him:)

My problem is that I feel so hopeless sometimes. I feel like an alien. I feel like everything is so useless. Our society is so not humane, so not healthy.. And on the other side so much like nature but in an unfair way. I'm not extremely good at anything. In fact, there is nothing I'm really Good at. I'm just a little bit Good at many things.

I'm so frustrated with myself right now. I can't get anything done, I don't feel like doing anything, I forget important things and choose to not do things deliberately, even though I should havo done them long ago, and I am bound to do myself wrong by not doing them.

"People are not lazy, they just have insufficiënt goals" some famous person once wrote. How right he is in my case. Problem is, this society doesn't always let you make your own goals.. There hardly isn't any room for mistakes.. Make one wrong decision and screw yourself for the next couple of years. Our fantastic government doesn't really help either.. And to think that I live in a relatively relaxed country, where there are at least choices to make. Omg, why do I hold myself back so much, and why do I have so much difficulties with getting things done and out of my way..

I could have had such a different life right now.. Question is, Would I have been happier? Will I ever find inner peace? Will I ever have a job that contributes to a better world (if such a thing exists) instead of breaking it down? Will I ever do something which makes me want to get up in the morning, and let me be content at the end of the day?

Why do people always sigh and roll their eyes whenever I say that I want to do something good, and not contribute to all the bad in the world. Is that so weird? Do all the other people ignore the fact that they are mere followers in a herd? Going in a direction where few people get sickening rich and most earn just enough to pay te bills.. I know that I am in this system as well, and I know that I unwillingly contribute to it every single say. But is it so weird that I wish I didn't have to? That people did not get killed manufacturing the IPhone I am using this very moment to actually write this blog? That the people who made the clothes I wear by working much too hard, actually earned some decent money instead of near to nothing, making few people very rich? I am defenitely not better than any of them followers. Because I am in that herd as well. Maybe as much at the edges as I can, but nonetheless in that goddamn herd. The reason is, I don't think that I can change the world by myself. Heck, I don't think the world can be changed at all. Because we don't really want it to change. Because we're used to it this way. And let's face it, we are in à luxury position as well. We don't really need it to change. I wouldn't even know how to change it. Because there will always be selfishness, and arrogance. There will always be the urge to be bigger and better than the other. There will always be hatred. And disease.. I know that. Many of the people I know, don't like it when I talk about this. They don't want me to think about this. They maybe don't even agree with me on this. And I get that. Because it can be scary and cofronting. And it can make a person way too depressed. But I am just being realistic.. And I like to sometimes express that I think about these things. Because if I let them thoughts out, it clears up in my head. It makes room for more positive thinking. I want to stay humble, and appreciate life and all living things. I want to experience love and give love, because it is one of the things that keep me going. I want to see the beauty in things. I want to appreciate friendship and cherish it. I want to be able to give without expecting or wanting anything back. To be able to do all this, I think you need to be able to know the other side as well. Maybe that doesn't go for everyone, because there are genuinely Nice and good people on this planet, but most of us have à shadowside, with not so good characteristics.

Sometimes it is hard to do what you have to do, even if you know that it will help you in the future. Specially if what you have to do feels so useless most of the time. Well, due to the choices I and some other people in my life made in the past, I have to push myself to follow the herd for another while, until I can hopefully set myself sufficiënt goals. And make at least a tiny part of this world a better place..

:)

The ironic thing is.. If we would all use our herd-following instinct in a positive way, doing positive things, to change the world for the better, it could theoretically be possible..

Because I don't want to make my few "followers" feel bad and ruin their days, I want to end this post with something positive:)

Let's all do something nice for someone else tomorrow, let's let go of our anger and sorrow. Let's smile at each other and brighten up someone elses day by being helpful or just kind. Let's enjoy the good things even more ab be grateful for them, and let's help each other get through the bad..

Lot of love for all,

S.Y.K

ps I'm going to get myself together tomorrow, and make sure I get some important stuff done. Because talking about it is real Nice and everything, but I have to start doing something for real!;)

Brainstorm

Have you ever felt insufficiënt?

I feel insufficiënt all the time since I'm enrolled in a new study program where I'm supposed to found a company and come up with product ideas. I used to have so many, may I say, Good ideas, but now that I need them, they're nowhere to be found!!

I'm actually in class right now hurting my brain hoping that it will produce something good and usefull.. Unfortunately, that doesn't work. The best way to come up with ideas is to do something cool or relaxing with your mates.

So.. We went to Hizmet, to eat some Dürum and Döner;) didn't bring us that one fantastic idea, but a filled stomach is not bad either for the moment.

I'm sorry for being absent for a few days but now you know why!

I've started painting again by the way.. And I love it!! It's so nice to be able to just let everything go and let your hands do the work for you.

Anyway, I'm going back to my inventing..

See you again soon!!

S.Y.K.

Allthough I Would have loved to stay in Switserland a little longer, it is good to be home again. I love having Simba around and starting and ending my day with a walk:)

I miss Nelly already, but we've had a really nice week together and I've got renewed energy to do the things I have to do.

I've read a book when I was there: Numerology- Dan Millman. Very interesting. I've read it before when I visited Nelly, but everytime I read something new which catches my eye. The thing I find particularly interesting about this book is that it doesn't make you feel like someone is forcing something on you. It just shows another view on us as humans. You don't have to believe in what it says. It's just interesting. I for me found many interesting and familiar things in it. And whether I really believe it or not is not important, because it has inspired me to live my life the way I think is good for me. I will start painting again, I'll take more time to walk Simba and do sports. I'll finish the studies I am doing right now so I'll at least have a diploma. And after that I'll just see what will come my way. Thank god I am master of my life, and make choices of my own.

Every day is a choice. Will I get up? And if I get up, will I go to school/work? Will I do this with a sad or a happy face? Will I try and make the best of it or am I gona be miserable all day because I don't really want to be there? And if I realise that what I am doing makes me so miserable, then why don't I do something about it? I know very well that this is easier said than done, but in the end, this is what it comes down to. Sometimes you're in a less fortunate situation, which you can't instantly change. Then why not try and make the best of it? Instead of being miserable all the time.. Maybe later things will change for the better, you knever know. I do know that you won't be able to see that if you are busy hating it so much, though.

( I'm not talking about horrible situations that are being forced on you, don't get me wrong!)

I have let crappy things and very rotten feelings get to me far too long in my life. I'm not saying I shouldn't have.. Everything that's happened has made me stronger and more determined to live life and wear a smile. It still hurts and sucks sometimes, and I don't think that will ever go away entirely. I've just found a way to deal with it. I've made a choice: accept the situation and make the best of it, work hard and enjoy all the good things. Or let it get to me and bother me every day. Haunt me in my sleep and wear me out completely. I chose to deal with my problems, accept that some things in life will never change, no matter how much you would want them to or how hard you try. The hardest part was to accept the harsh fact that I am the only person who will have to make myself happy. Because no one else will do so. I am the only one responsable for my life and how I live it. Same goes for the lives of others. I have had such à hard time letting go and accepting that I couldn't change or help particular people in my life. There is nothing more painful than seeing someone make him or herself miserable, or being captured in a situation that makes them unhappy, even though they don't see this, or don't want to see it. It is so cruel to have to watch and not be able to do something. Because you love them so much. But you just cannot change people, or help them change or deal with à situation differently if they don't want to:( The hardest part is letting them go.. Accepting that it will not change. Accepting that they choose to live their life this way, even though you (and maybe they too) know that it could be so much better..

I learnt the hard way, but thank God for those great and loving people who have helped me get through this myself by just being there for me. By listening to me whenever I needed to get it off my chest. For all those times I just sat there and cried. For all those moments where we just listened to music together thinking about life. And thank God for my dearest dog, who has forced me gently to genuinely look into the mirror and reflect. To get up every day. Who has helped me see and enjoy those little things in life which make life worth living.

I know these thoughts and the pain will keep visiting me every now and then. But I don't care. I know that there are à few people who will be there for me. And I know I can get through and see the sun shine again.

I really look forward to starting painting again. I look forward to doing things that make me feel peaceful and at ease. My little holiday was like a cleansing for my soul. To get away from everything which was blocking my energy and spirit and just breathe.. Mmm. I recommand it to everyone who has the chance. My grandfather always used to say: where there is à will, there is à way.. And I think he is right. I'm not saying that that way is always easy. I actually think it mostly is not easy at all. On the contrary. But why should that be a bad thing? Why not beat some challenges along the way? Some say: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you are willing to take a real look in that mirror, and dare to accept the challenge, I think you're already half way there. Everybody has minor faults in their personalities. But every weakness can be turned into a strength if you try and look at it differently:) as long as you keep working on it, you'll be fine:)

While I'm writing this I'm listening to this song: little secrets by Chamberlin. I love that song:) listen to it and feel the vibe.. Maybe we can listen to it together someday and think about life and smile at each other, me smoking my pipe and you having a sip of that grand raspberry liqour I brought home with me from Suisse:)

Sleep tight mateys, see yous next time!

S.Y.K.

Big Yellow Digger

I love being on holiday. I love having good weather during my holidays, when It's nice and warm and sunny. I have absolutely no problem with getting a nice walnut tan. But oh my god do I hate the insects that come with these things!! Unfortunately for me , have I got sweet blood. These horrible little creatures called mosquitoes are absolutely in love with me. I think they are one of few who have managed to get to almost every part of my body.. and left a mark!! Thank you very much, horrible little things! NOT!!

And if things couldn't get any worse, these flies, who are usually just annoying, happen to love my blood as much!! G'damnit!!! I knew that flies could sting, but lay your fecking little stingers on someone else, for crying out loud!!! That I love this country so much doesn't mean that I want to look like it, with all the colours and the humps!! Grrr..

Anyway, as you might have understood already, I did not have such à great night last night, because of my little flying, soon not to be alive, friends. And to make things worse, last night was so increadably hot, both inside the house as outside, that it was impossible to sleep anyway. And as an icing on the cake, a harsh thunderstorm came around 01.00am. The wind made the whole house shiver and creach, and it was both magnificent and a bit scary, because I have never experienced such à fierce thunderstorm. Felt like a hurricane had hit us.

Luckily, yesterday was a really nice day, in which I finally got to buying a pipe!!:D I was so exited, and still am, and can't wait to have a smoke with my dear friend Nelly:) Since I am still a woman, I bought some light mango tobacco with it, and some filters. I don't want to instantly get myself some lung cancer if I don't have to. I know it is stupid to start smoking a pipe anyway, but humans were made to do stupid things, and since I am quite à good girl all round, I figured it wouldn't be too bad to enjoy myself a little smoke every now and then. I can see myself smoking whenever I really miss Nelly and the calming, healing ambiance of Switserland.

Also, smoking my pipe brings back very good memories of someone who has meant a lot to Nelly, her family and me and it somehow makes me feel like he is still around. I feel that way anyway, but when we smoke it is a bit like honouring and remembering him, and just thinking about that makes my heart glow.. :)

I have the same feeling with cigars. My dad used to smoke cigars, and I used to love that smell. Now, whenever I smell the scent of cigars, I feel like that little girl who sat with her father, him smoking a little cigar..

I haven't seen my father for 17 years, until I came to visit him thanks to my cousin Thesi, three years ago. I've only seen him once since and speak to him only every now and then whenever we both can and feel like it, via Skype. Thing is, since my parents got divorced, I haven't really gotten the chance to know him.. And I've always wanted to.. I really wanted to know who the other half of me belonged to..
But somehow, now that I have the chance to get to know him better and maybe even see him this very week I don't really know how to handle this..

I love him to bits, but I really don't know him, and I find it hard to just step into his life and be there.. It must be weird for him too, since I left as a small kiddo, and all of a sudden I'm a full-grown adult. I don't often talk about this, but it does get on my mind every now and then and I honestly mean it when I say that I would love to know everything about him. But when it gets to te point where I should really give him a call, or like now would maybe even have the chance to meet him again, It's not that easy.. I don't know what's holding me back.. Maybe I just can't really, or don't want to really accept the fact that the days that we've lost will never come back. I have longed so much for a dad who Would sit with me and listen to my stories about school, who would be proud and protective of his only daughter and stuff, when I was younger, and I have to accept that those times are over. I will never have that. It can just as much be that even when he would have been around, he wouldn't even have done that.. So I know that it is stupid to unawarely hold on to this. I know like no other that I should go on and make the most out of the time that is still given.. Same goes for my grandparents and cousins..

I want them to know that even though I sometimes can't bring myself to visiting them, I still love them very much and time will come when I will definitely visit them as much as I can! I just hope that it won't be too late..

I've known a song, which others will most likely not feel the same about, but which has great meaning to me.. You should maybe listen to it and try and understand how I sometimes miss having that dad, missing the one I have, and also missing the one I could have had if that person would have seen it as a gift rather than a nuisance.. I can cry when I hear that song, for all the children in the world who do not get to see, or do not even have loving parents, who always have their best interests at heart. I can cry for al the people who have had loving parents but who lost them.. You know, that's the beauty of a song.. Of all arts.. That even when the text doesn't exactly say all this, this is what it says. Or can say.. Same goed for paintings, photographs, etc. The one who creates, often doesn't even know how much his creation says to people. That's the beauty of it. If there is a God, he must have known.. To have gifted some of his human beings with the talent to help, comfort, astonish, bring love, peace, calme and all the other feelings to one another:)

That is exactly why I love nature so much. And animals. My dog. Maybe that is why I love Switserland so much. It always seems as if the people here try to live as much in harmony with nature as they possibly can. No, they are not better of perfect, but they cherish their land, and I love that. The way they keep their graveyards looking beautiful and looked after, the way they are proud of their homes and decorate them with beautiful flowers.. The way they treat their cattle with respect, let them out and about, care for their animals.. That's why I love being here. Love being surrounded by them cowbells all day long when at Nelly's home.. I love being with his family, who was once almost mine.. I love having a good laugh with Nelly about something simple, when we're both tired and annoyed by the heat and the insects and maybe even a bit tipsy when we've enjoyed a glass ( or maybe two;) at dinner. I love everything here, and I don't feel like going home next saturday at all..

I still haven't decided whether I am going to visit my grandparents and my dad.. But I do know that I love them, and that I absolutely want to see them again.

Btw, the song you should listen is called: JCB- Nizlopi. Maybe you will understand what I mean with that.. Maybe not.

I will think about this moment every time I will have a smoke, and I will smile.. :D because we are blessed. Blessed with everything we have, everything that has been given to us. As long as we accept that we are who we are, and that things just do happen to us, good and bad. We've all got flaws in our personality, which we should and can work on, to make us stronger, to make us wiser. If we do that, if we listen to our body, and to the needs of our soul, we can be genuinely happy and content, and live everyday to the max. Without holdig back, without being scared to love or be loved. Without being scared that something bad will happen, or change. Bad things do happen, and some things will change.. No matter how many or little chances we take.

I for me, can honestly say, if I were to have a heart attack right now, or die of something else, I would be absolutely ok with it, because I think I have learnt and I have understood which things are important in life. Doesn't mean that I am perfect now, and that I will never question love of anyone again in my life. I will, and I will also make mistakes. But I will be aware of it, of myself and my being and I will always keep working on it. Because I want to live life to the fullest, because I feel that I owe it to all those who can't for whatever reason. I feel like I should feel thankful for everything I have, yes also for my lovehandles and my big nose;)

If you are open to seeing the small things in life, the beauty in your opposite, and can accept each others differences, I think you can be a happy and content human being. And maybe help some of the others who have difficulty seeing or adapting themselves. Help them live. Help them love. Help them be.

That is what I want. That is what I wish for. I don't want to be self-absorbed. I don't want to be negative and pessimist. I will always have an idealistic and realistic view on things. But that's me. And if you care about me enough to look beyond, you'll find my bigger than big heart, full of love, for you, and for all those who need it and accept it.

Thank you God. Thank you parents. Thank you soul, for letting me get this insight at this age. I'll try hard to make magic happen around me:)

R.I.P W., for all the love you have given, for the example you have been, for everything. I hope you look after us, wherever you are. Thank you for helping me come back to my homeland to heal my soul again and again. You've foreseen and you've known this maybe all along. We love you, and still miss you..

For all the loved ones we have lost, and miss so very much: we don't forget about you and one day we'll meet again:)

Look around you.. In every drop of rain, in every thunder storm.. In every ray of sunlight, in every flower, in every tree and in every living thing, there is life. Let's love it, let's take good care of it, let's cherish and enjoy it. For life was meant to be lived. Be it short, be it long, let's enjoy and hold on to it, let's let go when it's time. Let's love, because love is that one thing that makes everthing shine, when not mis-used.

With love,

S.Y.K.

Bäzi Weinachten

Together in the garden.. After a really grand cheese fondue..

How content and happy can one be. After a hot and sunny day, lots of laughter, lots of fun in the sun, there is absolutely nothing better than sitting in the garden, after a very nice dinner with friends, I cannot say more than that I am totally and utterly content and happy. Whenever I wake up, the window being open, the scent of summer in my dearly beloves Bernese Oberland reaches my nose and makes me thoroughly happy.

I cannot explain the feeling these smells give me.. It is a feeling of homecoming, of friends and family, of love and all the beautiful things this globe has to offer:) It is THE smell of summer, the hay which is just been cut, the faint sound of cowbells all around, and the stars are so close by, you feel like you could almost touch..

If only I could put a little bit of this scent in a jar and take it home with me..

:)

I genuinely wish that one day I can share this moment, this feeling with my best friends.

I love this place, I feel so good being here. It is almost as if I can go back to basics completely and realize exactly those things that are actually important in life. I wish that everyone could experience this kind of feeling at least once in their lives.. It brings so much humbleness and relaxation.. You have no idea:)

Tonight I saw a falling star twice, and I made a wish..

I wish I could explain how I feel about this country, the land, the pastures, the wheat, the corn, the cows with them authentic bells ringing all day and night, these spectacular views all around and the mountains.. The sun making everything even more impressing and the colours even more grand and beautiful..

If only now I could have had someone to love, we could have made ourselves a bed outside, under the starry skye, watch them fall together, smell the scents of the Swiss summer, have loving sex with the white snowed mountain tops in the background and the cowbells being the best, most humble soundtrack of life ever.. And after, been waken up by the sun who would gently kiss our skin in the morning..

That would be great:)

I could try and tell you all the stories and all my experiences of my stay here.. But it would be a waste, because even reading this makes me realize, that this country and my feelings for it can only really be understood if you know my complete background, my past, my now, and my plans and wishes for the future.. And you could never understand or get even a bit close to knowing what I saw..

Not even the pictures can bring it across, while I do not have a proper camera with the right lenses and ofcourse my non-exhistent technique;)

I love it here and hope to show you where I come from one day.. Be it in person, be it with pictures, paintings or whatever..

For now, bye!

S.Y.K.